PiDDLE News Network

A blockbuster paper unveiled after his death indicated that Gerald Ford was not in favor of dying. Other items the late president was not in favor of include the sun running out of energy, gasoline over $2.00 a gallon, the Titanic sinking, Daylight Saving Time, global warming, Tiger Wood's bogey on the 16th hole in round two of the 1999 Masters Tourney and frozen yogurt.

Defiant Saddam died questioning his executioners' authority to carry out a hanging. After a short, unsuccessful appeal the former dictator was killed by hanging late yesterday.

Authority, ever subjective, sometimes doesn't matter.

In a political first, there is an opportunity for a "smoking chihuahua" ticket in the Democratic party. Barack (I Proudly Smoke) Obama and the yap-happy Southern Gentleman John Edwards complete a rather compelling team. Each has little experience in politics and together they have no new ideas.

Vote Smoking Chihuahua in 2008!!!

A number of possible titles for the new Harry Potter book have been announced. This is the last of the popular series that the world, for some reason, has embraced. The potential titles, which will be chosen by worldwide vote, are presented below.

1. HARRY POTTER and the Chocolate Wedgie of Doom
2. HARRY POTTER and the Blissful Civil Union
3. HARRY POTTER and the Goblet Filled with Crap
4. HARRY POTTER and Literary Death with Dignity
5. HARRY POTTER and the Sleepy Reader

John Edwards, the diminuative barking chihuahua from a past presidential race, is back trying to gain the highest office in the country. Though articulate, this man reminds us all that substance, or some semblance of substance must exist before on can gain credibility with a large audience. He may have been able to fool small juries in his successful law career, but it is easy to see through the empty words and half-baked promises when exposed on a grander scale.

Looking like a yapping dog during past debates with the sitting vice president, this man embarrassed himself as someone who would say anything to gain favor with his audience. What an idiot.

In another example of marketing genius at work, Discover, the giant credit card company, has frightened its customer base. As if the growing interest rates charged on their credit cards is not enough. Who would have thought that a city full of hungry, snapping scissors would make for a compelling ad for a credit card company. And how much did it cost to automate and animate all those creepy little scissors? They should have had machetes slashing at the city dwellers and lopping off an arm or two. Now that would be edgy advertising!

"The Nativity Story" hit theaters a week ago and rumors are circulating that the pregnant teenage star portraying Mary was disinvited from the premier at the Vatican. This irony surfaces from a guest list change to a movie that celebrates a teenage birth amid curious circumstances. This bad PR and coincidence is enough to confirm the existence of a higher power with a sense of humor.

"Mary" with Child; No Room at the Inn

It's been a week since the death of James Kim in the forests of Oregon here and it is time for comment. For those of you unfamiliar, this tech personality became lost in the Oregon wilderness in his car with his family of four. After six days, he left to find help. Covering 16 miles over three days, he finally died from exposure.

What a sad way to go - believing you had contributed to the premature demise of your family. Imagine fighting hard for each step in hope of saving those most important to you. It is no wonder that he covered a "superhuman" distance in terms of terrain. His will to survive was formidable. But his will was no match for the forces of nature.

This San Fran super couple had it all. Promising careers, investments, view housing and the right friends do not matter under certain circumstances. These people were not looking for a snowy retreat or risky adventure. We're all a wrong turn away from an unfortunate outcome.

Maybe this is a Photoshop picture of Obama smoking. The Blogosphere is buzzing with this topic. Still, Hillary Clinton is leading in the polls. Here's a quick post from David Drake.

Picture of Obama Smoking?

Bank of America shares rose to create a market capitalization of over $275 billion this week, capping a stunning rise to banking's pinnacle. The banking industry is creating clones and soul-less workers at a greater and greater rate. And this cash has a lot to do with it. We are not against regulation here - but would someone step in and kick their asses? Is it really hard to get banking right?

Look what one of these BofA idiots does here.

Bank of America Clone Singing for his Supper

If this doesn't make you sick to your stomach, nothing will. This guy is totally into the whole corporate ass-kissing thing. He sings about how great it is to be in a cage. Singing the corporate line for his supper.

Shame on him.

Here is salute to all you entreprenuers out there. Carry your flag and wave it proudly. Consider this modest post to be your inspiration against working for someone else. What a tragic waste of a life here.

He does not know how little his life has become. Let's remind him at every turn, if we can.

Smoking or no, the Obama for President debate continues at PeeNN, the Internet's go-to site for All You Need To Know. Wow, the smoking issue is getting some play here. More importantly, the lack of real skills is what is being highlighted. The real smoking, if you know what I mean, is being done by the people that think this guy is a real candidate.

OBAMA DEBATE CONTINUES

This gem from RollingStone.com! Borack Obama for Preisdent - no thanks!

"Smoker or not, I haven’t seen any evidence that Senator Obama has any skills beyond eloquent public speaking abilities. “He’s better than the moron we have” is not reason enough to vote for anyone, especially when we won’t have the moron in 2 years regardless. What’s Obama done in office beyond promote himself?"

Good questions, all! Eloquence is a real skill.

We need new ideas - not words.

In an attempt to have an adult conversation about Obama smoking, here's the latest discussion thread on the issue. This is a real issue, whether people choose to see at that way or not. Ten years ago it was not an issue. We live in another time.

Obama will not quit or he would have already. He has shared his disgust with the habit. And yet he chooses to puff away. Those who claim that he will quit before declaring for the presidency are kidding themselves.

Today's voters want a president who is in control. And anyone who exposes himself and his family to these proven health risks will be greatly discounted as a candidate.

Obama is Smokin'

Oscar-winning "actress" and reluctant American Gwyneth Paltrow, proving her own point, called Brits more civilized and intelligient than Americans. Her interview was carried in the Portugese press and addressed many lingering questions America had about her viewpoint. Extremely lucky to get a break as a relative of mogul and nepotist Steven Spielberg, Ms. Paltrow rose to stardom in forgettable films and sub-standard cinema.

Seemingly unable to recall socially appropriate baby names of other humans, Ms. Paltrow choose to name her children after various commodities, including Apple. With the unique, odd moniker, Apple is reportedly getting her lunch stolen at school on a frequent basis.