PiDDLE News Network

Angelina Jolie frightens local children in Budapest with an ice cream cone

In an enormus blunder, screen star Angelina Jolie brought forbidden food to the country of Budapest to help with her adoption efforts. Ice Cream has been banned in Budapest for the last three decades because of a leaky cone scare in the late 1960's. But that didn't stop Ms. Jolie from bringing in the banned treat to help increase her chances of adopting mopre children. The cone was quickly confiscated by police and the Jolie/Pitt duo paid a fine of about US $25,000. A spokesperson for Jolie stated, "She won't do that again."

Barack Obama and His Running Mate in 2008, Toots McGee

Barack Obama has picked his running mate for the 2008 election before even getting the nomination. Toots McGee, a Denny's waitress, will be Mr. Obama's partner if he gets the nomination. Ms. McGee is a logical choice for Obama. Her experience managing customers will be an asset for Mr. Obama, who has never been involved in a for-profit organization. "We're thrilled to have her", a spokeperson from the Obama campaign stated.

Ask Mitt: Why Does It Seem Like You Have a Stick Up Your Butt?

Mitt Romney is asked to explain his anal pose. Paramedics came and had to use the jaws of life to re-establish moving butt cheeks on the presidential hopeful. Asked to defend his consistent, intense point of view, Romney clenched his teeth and emitted a low growling sound.

A New Wildcat Exhibit Opened at San Francisco Zoo Today

The San Fran Zoo has opened a new, more sedate wildcat exhibit in light of recent troubles in that section of the zoo. "I don't think we are going to have trouble with these cats," a smiling curator, Bob Zooper, announced to reporters on Wednesday. "They are not giong over the fence; I guarantee it."

Bad Timing: GolfWeek's Martin Luther King Edition

GolfWeek announced the closing of its offices today in remembrance of the Martin Luther King holiday. "It's a day late, but that's how it goes," a harried interim news director stated as he was heading out the door. "If we're still in business tomorrow, we'll re-open."