PiDDLE News Network

Canines Are Attracted to the new "Starpups" Store in Seattle
Starbucks Corp., in an effort to increase customer traffic, has opened its first Starpups store in Seattle. The high concept store, catering to dogs and dog-lovers, serves hot water and overpriced dog bones. Howard Schultz, founder of Starbucks commented, "We really forgot that dogs do not have money, so I think we missed the mark a little on this one. But we are open to how this unfolds; we'll see what happens. We hurried a little here, but that's better than standing still. Where's the Dunkin' Donuts from here?"

Starbucks stock sank another 5% today in heavy trading.

The last photo of Princess Diana before her car hit a pole.

A final photo of Princess Diana was released today by Press International. The photo, taken by photographers on the hood of her crashing car, shows Diana turning her head just before the car hit a cement pole. Seemingly unaware of her pending doom, Diana turned her head to evade providing a face shot in the photo. The driver and passenger appear to be high or drunk.


The last photo of Princess Diana before her car hit a pole.

Tabloids: Is Warren Buffet Gay?

Is Warren Buffet Gay? That's the rumor circulating the tabloids this week as several Buffet man-friendly photos have surfaced on the internet. The seventy-year old has been seen cavorting with a number of men lately, including long-time buddy Bill Gates. Buffet was married at one time but has seemed to prefer the company of men lately, according to tabloid reports.

Barack Obama in "Bay Watch: Obama"

CBS announced a new show for Spring, "Bay Watch: Obama". The show will center on the presidential hopeful and his part-time job as a life guard at a Chicago pool. Series creator Lenore Cline said, "OK, so the pool isn't exactly a bay, but we think this is compelling television." One of the episodes features Obama making a stump speech in SPEEDOS(R).
Asked how he was going to be able to make time for a television show amid campaigning, Mr. Obama stated, "I don't know."

Hitting "Bottom" Boo Boo McCarthy, Obama's Campaign Director, is Busy Putting Up Obama Campaign Posters in Unlikely Places

Barack Obama's campaign director, Boo Boo McCarthy, was seen putting up campaign posters in her University of Tennessee dorm room on Sunday night. Then the tireless worker, in an attempt to cover every bare wall with Obama propaganda, went door-to-door at the university. Not a single resident turned down her request to paper the town with Barack.

Britney and Dr. Phil McGraw: Super Bowl Intervention?

Dr. Phil McGraw is planning a Super Bowl intervention with Britney Spears during half-time. Britney, apparently unaware of the secret ploy, believes she will be singing backup with Tom Petty at the annual event. When Tom Petty starts into the familiar intro to "America Girl", Dr. Phil will emerge from a cavity in a large speaker cabinet to begin the intervention. A Dr. Phil representative, speaking on condition of anonymity, says they expect a ratings bonanza from the stunt.

Dr. Phil got in hot water earlier in the month when he allegedly betrayed the confidence of the pop star and her family. Medical ethicists have weighed in on the lapse of judgement, but Dr. Phil has claimed no wrong doing.


Britney and Dr. Phil McGraw: Super Bowl Intervention?

This is her quest? Hillary Clinton gestures during the song "The Impossible Dream" during a debate. Her singing was described as terrible.

Hillary Clinton broke into the song "The Impossible Dream" during a debate this week, terrifying the suprised audience. The song, a favorite, apparently, in the Clinton family, was used to acknowledge the dreams and hopes of the American public. It backfired. "She really sucks," retired plumber Mel Grossman opined after hearing her sing. "Once was pretty bad, but she went back and repeated the bridge, which was intolerable."

Barack Obama's New Campaign Director, Boo Boo McCarthy

Barack Obama, adding heat to his campaign, announced a shake-up in management of his road to the White House. Boo Boo McCarthy, a native of Tennessee and former Hooter's Waitress, has been named campaign director. The announcement was scheduled to be made on Monday, Martin Luther King Day, a typically slower news day. A spokesperson for the campaign stated "Boo Boo is very qualified for this post. She is a go-getter. She knows the differnce between chicken wings and airplane wings. And other important stuff."