PiDDLE News Network

Michael Phelps is trying to Locate His Missing Medals Before His Mom Finds Out
Michael Phelps, Gold-medal winning Olympian, has lost two of his coveted gold medals in the Olympic lunchroom. "I was busy being humble, then I turned around, and two medal were missing," the swimming star reported. It didn't help that the tuna fish was terrible; it really distracted me."

Chinese officials say they may replace the medals if they do not turn up. "This is the first time we have had this happen," a distressed Malcolm JingJing stated. "But we are committed to fixing the problem. AS long as no one is killed we are really happy."

Is Russia Intereted in the Atlanta Braves?

The CIA reports that Russia invaded Georgia to take over the Atlanta Braves. America's baseball team, conveniently located in the heart of Georgia, is now an easy target for takeover from the might Russian military. "We suspected this all along," an unamed CIA official stated. "Look, these guys have no real team to follow. And taking over the Braves by force would be a major coup. We're going to make sure they don't get away with it. They thought we wouldn't notice, but we're smarter than that."

Jolie's Son, Maddux, Does His Impression of Kiss' Gene Simmons

Not content to be adopted by an A-list actress, Angelina Jolie's son, Maddux, is trying out for a Kiss tribute band. The tiny tot, barely 3 years old, lined up outside a pub in England over the weekend to try out for the Kiss cover band, Mini KISS. Among hundreds of twenty-somethings vying for the part, he is a long shot for the part. But his mother seemed to think otherwise. A rep reported that Jolie was going to tour with the band; interest perked up considerably.

Rock and Roll All Nite.

Sheryl Crow with Attractive Friend in New York City

In a publicity stunt that some say has gone too far, singer Sheryl Crow has turned herself into an actual crow. The transformation took place over the last few weeks as Ms. Crow underwent Crow Transformation surgery. The music industry is abuzz as no one knows how this will affect her voice. Further, and more imortantly, Ms. Crow no longer fits into her stage outfits and will have to buy all new clothes.







Ms. Crow's new album, from the Cros'w nest, is expected to be released in OCtober. There is buzz aplenty with the disc. With ponential hits like "I'm Black, Black, Black" and "Beak Tweak Boogie", the album is destined to be an instant classic. Or it could suck.

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New Photo of Barak Obama

BREAKING NEWS BELOW FROM THE OBAMA CAMPAIGN





A new campaign photo of Barack Obama was released today showing a youthful presidential hopeful. The Obama camp ostensibly wants to appeal to a younger voting block with the fun-loving photo. Even so, some sources indicate that the photo is not of Obama - it's actually beloved 70's sitcom star Gary Coleman. CNN reports that the resemblance is striking. Reached for comment, the Clinton campaign had no comment.

Hand, Shown Here, Attacked a SPLENDA(R) BOX Without Warning

A giant hand attacked a SPLENDA sweetener box without warning yesterday and caused serious damage to the box. The box reported several creased edges and a crushed corner. The attack, according to box police, was unprovoked and caused great concern in the box neighborhood. "We try to be quiet boxes here, but this was not quiet at all," a spoke-box stated.







In related news, a giant foot stepped on styrofoam cup; no one was injured. Newscasters were quick to point out that the foot was giant compared to the cup and not much else. CNN attempted to get an exclusive on the story, but was denied access to the cup carnage.